Hey Lord, don’t ask me questions…

Vincent Browne in cracking form, taking on Klaus Masuch of the ECB.

Notice Masuch’s reaction, it starts with a sort of sneer as if he could just ignore the irritating insect in front of him but then he gets more and more uncomfortable as Browne presses his point. Its just a shame that not one of the other journalists pushed any member of the Troika over Browne’s claims that we don’t owe need to pay unsecured bond holders and that the reason for paying them back is just to keep other European banks from getting into financial difficulties. Not to mention the fact that we shouldn’t be shoring up a now defunct bank.

The telling point from the past couple of years is the lack of any serious investigative journalism into what happened to our financial institutions and into why we have to accept what the Troika tell us to do. We have been told that we have to pay back a debt, most of which the Irish public did not incur, without any good reason. Our major media organisations have fallen in behind our political leaders in telling us that we have pay back money that we don’t have. Our journalists have been silenced, apart from Browne and Fintan O’Toole, and they have been marginalised as being eccentric or too left-wing to be listened to. There is a major story to be written about the ties that bind journalism with politics in this country, unfortunately that story will not be written by any of our journalists. If it is written at all, it will be written by the historians looking back at this gombeen nation.

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Home is where the expenses are

So a High Court Judge has ruled that Ivor should be awarded €17,000 in lost earnings. I wonder is that based on his Cork or Dublin homes? And how did the protesters who delivered a snake to his house know which one to go to?

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Overdrawn Directors Continue Earning

So long, suckers...

Jim Flavin must be laughing up his very expensive designer shirt sleeves today. The state regulator on all things corporate, the ODCE (Only Dickheads Can Enter), has decided that Flavin is a model upright citizen and a shining example to us all. In 2008 Paul Appelby, head of the ODCE (Our Directors Completely Exonerated), had established an investigation into Jimbo and his mates in DCC (Duping Cretinous Counsel) led by an SC (Superior Carrion) Bill Shipsey.

Obviously Shipsey’s report must come as some surprise to the five judges of the Supreme Court who ruled that the Fyffe’s trading information that Jimbo held was price sensitive and would have a negative effect on Fyffe’s share price. For more background, Ireland.com has a timeline of the important events.

Apparently, Shipsey based his findings on a cosy wee chat with Jimbo and found him to be an extremely nice man, kind to animals and good with children. Indeed, Jimbo didn’t realise the information he possessed was price sensitive or would have an effect on Fyffe’s shares. And who could doubt that finding? After all, Jimbo has only a mere thirty-odd years share dealing experience and wouldn’t know all the finickity little laws around directors’ responsibilities and could hardly spell insider dealing. In fact, it’s a wonder that the ODCE (Organising Dances: Creating Enjoyment) would even make a fuss about a ensuring our corporate laws were upheld, sure its only the Supreme Court that was bothered about this little matter in the first place.

Now that Jimbo has been given a gold star, expect him to be named as the head of the banking inquiry.

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The Emperor’s Old Clothes

Listening to John O’Donoghues self-serving resignation speech I was struck by some of the rhythmical similarities to the Dr. Seuss books. So, I have re-written his speech in the style of Cat in the Hat and Green Eggs and Ham. Apologies to all Dr. Seuss lovers out there…

I do not like the news on Foxe
I do not like his little knocks.
I will not say sorry, no not at all
I will not say sorry, for ignoring the Dail.
I am my own man, I am
John I am and fair I am.

I like this office and its green robes
I like to talk but not disclose.
I am my own man, I am
Why, John I am and here I stand.

I do not like that little Foxe
I want him put back in his box.
I do not like him, no not at all
Because of him I have to fall.
I just want to have a chance to say
That I really, really want to stay.

But as Foxe is bad so Gilmore worse
And because of him I really curse.
And why did I not reply,
You ask me, why, why, why?
Because my green robes would not let me speak
And bade me silent and kept me meek.

But when that Foxe asked for my sums
I gave them to him and his chums.
And the day I chose, why I thought it wise
Not to distract from the Lisbon lies.
The figures, you see, might have caused some
To vote No in that referendum.

I am my own man, I am
John I am and proud I am
That I was always fair and straight
Even to Gilmore and his Sinn Fein mate.

I am my own man, I am
John I am and honest I am
I only did the same as most
But I’m the one that has to leave my post.

I will not listen to all you hacks
With your untruths and half the facts.
I will only listen to my very good friends
On whom my ministerial pension depends.

I am John, I like to fly
I like horses and this is why;
For every bet that I ever laid
I did it for Ireland and never got paid

I am my own man I am
John I am and public I am.
I always managed to obey the rules
And never took money
For those swimming pools.

I do not like this Foxe and now
He has made me sad and this is how;
He took my costs from long ago
When we had cash and couldn’t said no.

And then he made it look even worse
As if I destroyed the public purse.
But I acted in all good faith
And only took my due, my golden weight.

I am John and I like planes
I go by limo and not by trains.
But this is normal, can you not see
For a ministerial man like me?
I go to Hong Kong, Venice and Cannes
Because I am a very artistic man.

And when the Foxe adds the cost of these
Yes, it looks like money grew on trees.
But I had to take my servants and wife
To ease my not so privileged life.
For I was working, not having fun
When I laid those bets at ten to one.

I am my own man I am
John I am and local I am.
But its not all green robes and the traveling man
I’m Bob the Builder and yes I can
Put up stadiums, pools and centres
For opera buffs and tourist ventures.

I never took, I never would
I never took, I never could
I am my own man I am
For I am john, that’s who I am.

And as I stand here to say farewell
There are one or two things I must tell.
Gilmore was not being fair
When he told me I had to leave my chair.
It is not right, it is not just
But leave my green robes I must.

But I warn you that this House will fall
If Foxe gets his snout into the claims of all.
And then you will see what comes to pass
When you are thrown out on your ass.
For I will have the last laugh you see
When re-elected by South Kerry.

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