Vincent Browne in cracking form, taking on Klaus Masuch of the ECB.
Notice Masuch’s reaction, it starts with a sort of sneer as if he could just ignore the irritating insect in front of him but then he gets more and more uncomfortable as Browne presses his point. Its just a shame that not one of the other journalists pushed any member of the Troika over Browne’s claims that we don’t owe need to pay unsecured bond holders and that the reason for paying them back is just to keep other European banks from getting into financial difficulties. Not to mention the fact that we shouldn’t be shoring up a now defunct bank.
The telling point from the past couple of years is the lack of any serious investigative journalism into what happened to our financial institutions and into why we have to accept what the Troika tell us to do. We have been told that we have to pay back a debt, most of which the Irish public did not incur, without any good reason. Our major media organisations have fallen in behind our political leaders in telling us that we have pay back money that we don’t have. Our journalists have been silenced, apart from Browne and Fintan O’Toole, and they have been marginalised as being eccentric or too left-wing to be listened to. There is a major story to be written about the ties that bind journalism with politics in this country, unfortunately that story will not be written by any of our journalists. If it is written at all, it will be written by the historians looking back at this gombeen nation.
Here is kickoutthejam’s patent pending guide to the upcoming contest to find an occupant for the empty ghost estate in the Phoenix Park – social housing Ireland style.
Sean Gallagher
There are some well known facts about Gallagher – he’s bald and he lives in a Den. What isn’t so well known is the fact that he’s a former Fianna Fail party member, eh? Oh. Well, its not so well known that he’s a failed entrepreneur who has left quite a few debts in his time, whats that? Oh. Very well, few people know that Gallagher admires Denis O’Brien – tax exile, Moriarty Tribunal star and creator of untold misery, jobs, sorry? Oh. Ok then, what is definitely not so well known is why so many people have been hoodwinked by a media hound into thinking that we need a President that is going to create jobs. Gallagher will create one job – for himself with a very large pension at the end of it. He won’t be able to interfere in the economy thankfully, given his and Fianna Fail’s track record in that department. Why vote for him? Obvious, we need a slaphead as President, now if we could just find two mates for him we’d have the beginnings of another top rating RTE show. An Irish version of William Hague. Knows his way around brown envelopes. Has difficulty remembering stuff.
Michael D Higgins
Serial Galway man. I’ll resist the temptation to call him a gnome, when he is so obviously a fairy dispensing pixie dust, in Irish. Reminds me of this Randy Newman song. Has a long and proven track record of wittering on incessantly, regardless of the topic of conversation – terrible man to have in a round when its last orders. Apparently he is old but for fucks sake everyone in the West looks that ancient. Had something to do with Macnas, for that alone he should be flogged. Likes U2, also deserving of a flogging. On a positive note, he does write poetry but, lets face it, most of it is pure shite.
Martin McGuinness
Peacemaker, so should be blessed. Has an immediate advantage in that he is used to taking oaths. Lost his P45 from the Army Council so is not too sure when exactly he resigned. The only one to show any decorum in taking all the shite that has been hurled at him and that has been a lot of shite from just about all parts of society and the media. Can talk to Peter Robinson – without feeling the need to punch his lights out. Major fault – supports Derry City.
David Norris
The camp, comic candidate. The mellifluous scholar rarely uses one word when a combined dictionary and thesaraus can be shoe horned into a sound-bite. He is, famously, a man of letters – none of which he can use in single syllable words. Like Michael D, he has published poetry, none of which anyone has ever read, not even himself. He left the Presidential race early to stamp his feet and sulk in the corner. After finding the attention he was looking for Norris re-entered the race where everyone promptly ignored him. Has worn cravats. Likes fried liver.
Mary Davis
The lady in red, an appropriate colour considering the state of the economy. Can’t open her mouth without saying Special Olympics. Been on more boards than Greg Louganis. Not unfamiliar with the airbrush. Thinks that Denis O’Brien is a suitable person for membership of the Council of State. Nuff said.
Gay Mitchell
No, there won’t be a gay up the Aras. Mitchell is the angriest man in politics, liable to take offence at the most trivial detail – he is rude and obnoxious and they’re just his good qualities. Overall a complete dick. Even his own party hates him. I admit to previous with Mitchell, he was invited to speak at a residents meeting opposed to high-rise development in Dublin 12 and called me a shinner – now I’ve been many things and been called many things but a shinner? Think Buzz might be tickled by that. Mitchell is advised by Terri Prone (a communications expert, apparently) who possibly should be sacked. He thinks the Presidential office requires someone with dignity, diplomacy and tact so that rules him out.
Dana
Professional Catholic. Holds no truck with abortion, gay marriage or trucks. Afraid to ask her brother about his, em, difficulties. Breda O’Brien, from the even more reactionary wing of Catholicism thinks that she should withdraw from the race and with friends like that… Might be interesting to see what the other member of the Irish Catholic Trinity- John Waters – thinks, then again, life’s too fucking short. I’m resisting the temptation to throw in an obvious reference to all kinds of everything when she is, in fact, no kind of anything. Possibly should be sectioned.
So there you have it, one of the most insipid line-ups ever for an election to the supposed highest post in the land. The only saving grace is that Gay Byrne isn’t in the race, I think that would finish us off for good. There should possibly be an eighth option – none of the above, lets do without a President for a while and see if the sky falls in. We are a bankrupt country economically, morally and politically and if this is the best we can do then we are truly fucked. You might want to go and lie down for the next seven years.
So a High Court Judge has ruled that Ivor should be awarded €17,000 in lost earnings. I wonder is that based on his Cork or Dublin homes? And how did the protesters who delivered a snake to his house know which one to go to?
So, we have an ex-Finance Minister and current Taoiseach (that’s Irish for incompetent buffoon) who claims that in accompanying Sean Fitzpatrick in 18 holes of golf and an 18 course dinner he never once discussed the malaise at Anglo-Irish bank. If you accept that barely believable premise then the question is – why the fuck didn’t he discuss the situation? Or more importantly, why didn’t he wrap a five-iron round Fitzy’s neck for breaking our whole economy? And nice to see Fitzy’s old friend Drumm backing him up.
If you were in hospital, really sick, maybe terminal who would you trust to comfort you, perhaps help cure you or at least make things more bearable? How about these fine people, carrying round a 500 year old, desiccated heart?
Although I’m not sure if they’re coming to help or to hurry you on your way.
Now ordinarily the daily goings on of the superstitious would not bother me or cause me too much concern unless they were breaking the law or waking me up early on a Sunday. However, these scary looking oddbods have been getting getting a police escort since the non-beating heart arrived in Ireland.
Why is the state paying good money to guard a piece of Catholic mythology? Surely the church has enough funds to pay for a couple of bouncers for a few weeks? I’m assuming that the police were just guarding the relic and not affording it full blown diplomatic status cos that would be just plain silly. After all, its not as if the ex-organ can actually do anything, what with its previous owner being dead for half a millenium. For those of you who, however misguidedly, think that there is something to this mumbo-jumbo you can do a google search to find where the lifeless, bloodless husk will be making its next appearance. For those of you with a more realistic view of the world you might want to check this out tomorrow – Atheist Ireland AGM.
The latest health service fiasco just highlights the lack of leadership and responsibility in this country. The Minister for Health has abdicated any responsibility to the HSE, while enjoying a two-week break in New Zealand at our expense. The HSE say that it only found out about the x-ray problem last week (while also landing Fat Harney right in it by implying she knew about it in December). Professor Brendan Drumm, the very same person that received a big performance related bonus last year, has shifted responsibility for the debacle onto Tallaght Hospital.
The Tallaght Hospital currently has a board of 22 members, almost as many as the Cabinet that supposedly runs the country. This is despite a recommendation from Price Waterhouse Coopers that the board be cut drastically. Oh, and the HSE has never taken up its seat on the board – how can they possibly hope to know what is going on there or have any influence on the proper governance of the hospital? The former chairman, Alan Gillis refuses to take any responsibility for what went on under his watch and is desperately clinging to his seat on the board. The current chairman designate, Lyndon McCann, claims he didn’t know about the extent of the problem, which should be enough to disqualify him from stepping up to the chair.
While all this was breaking where was the Taoiseach, the supposed leader of the country? Carrying a bowl of wilted greenery to give to Obama. He is keeping abreast of everything he claims and he has utmost confidence in Fat Harney and thinks she’s doing a splendid job. Well, she’s certainly following Clowen’s example of being responsible for nothing and leading us nowhere.
Further evidence of the complete lack of leadership and responsibility is Clowen’s inability to deal with the problem of Sweary Mary. Coughlin’s cock-ups are proving to be an embarrassment to the government (if that is possible). It seems that the IDA are reluctant to ask for her to go on further trade missions such is her inability to behave appropriately. Joining Sweary in showing themselves, and us, up is Conor Lenihan - a junior minister in Sweary’s Department. The Irish Daily Mail claims that he was on a “Drink till you drop junket” in Vietnam. There must be something in the water in that Department.
Clowen has a chance to act decisively this week when he reshuffles the cabinet but all indications are theat he will prefer to split up Government Departments rather than address the problem of under-performing Ministers. So, expect to see Sweary remain as Tánaiste but with a much reduced Department that should give her less opportunity to fuck things up.
Remote Control
With a bit of luck the Government will miss Gabon’s reform of Civil Service lunch breaks. It’s interesting that in what is supposed to be a knowledge economy that there is such a reluctance to have Civil Servants avail of teleworking. The Department of Finance claims that it is too expensive to equip our homes with office furniture and that there are health and safety issues (our houses become more deadly if we work there, apparently). And there is also a concern about remote linking to Departmental computer systems. However, if we really want a flexible work force equipped to deal with the demands of a fast changing society then we need to look at this type of working. Taking the last few days into account I wonder how many civil and public servants availed of annual or flexi leave to avoid battling the elements to work. At least if they had the option of teleworking they would have been productive.
End Credits
It’s always sad when people who we respect have to take their leave but the last week saw two of my particular (and peculiar) favourites take their final bow. Michael Dwyer has been one of the more interesting and knowledgeable film critics of the past 25 years or so. I remember coming across him first in the In Dublin magazine many years ago and when he established the Dublin Film Festival with Myles Dungan. While I might not have agreed with everything he wrote I did admire his style of writing and the way he supported the film industry in Ireland. He was particularly good at interviewing film makers and the last time I saw him was at the 2007 Dublin International Film Festival when he presented Gabriel Byrne with a Volta and the following interview was fascinating. Dwyer set the bar for critics and he will be sadly missed although Daniel Day-Lewis said during his eulogy that he was relieved that Michael Dwyer never got round to seeing ‘Nine‘.
Another who turned his last sod was the landscape gardener John Cushnie. Cushnie had been part of Gardeners’ Question Time on BBC Radio 4 for the last fifteen years. GQT is a typically English institution, combining wisdom with wit and eccentricity. Cushnie could be forthright in his opinions but he had a wicked sense of humour and wasn’t afraid to send himself or his fellow panelists up. As a working gardener he had a real insight into the struggles of the (extremely) amateur genus.
Bow the Knee Biffo is a creationist. He’s also a master of spin – at a time when we are dramatically cutting our aid to Africa he is patting himself on the back about the work we are going to do to help prevent climate change in the third world. We would have been better served if Biffo had pointed out the inadequacies of the Pope’s response to the Ryan and Murphy reports of 2009. In fact we would have been better served if Biffo had just kept his big mouth shut.
We are all individuals
Bit of a kerfuffle over at Twenty.
